I saw something on the way to campus today that honestly made me question how some people survive as long as they do, while being as utterly stupid as they are. I was driving down Mt. Hope Rd., one of the main roads in my town, when I noticed a pickup truck with an SUV-style hardtop cover a few cars up. In the back pickup bed sat a medium-sized dog, looking confused and uncomfortable as he tried to maintain his balance sitting up. The back window was lifted open and the tailgate only went about halfway up the dog’s body, leaving him to just hang his top half out the back as he sniffed all around him. Whenever the truck changed speed, the poor dog had to regain his balance to avoid falling out of the moving truck.

Seeing this sight on the road immediately made my skin crawl with indignation and disbelief. This dog’s owner, moron that he was, decided that not only would his dog be fine sitting unrestrained in the back of a truck, but it’d also be a good idea to just go ahead and open the back window and let him get some fresh air. He didn’t take into account the various potholes and patches in the road he was on, any of which could potentially launch his poor dog over that tailgate towards certain death.

It boggles my mind how this idiot lasted as long in the world as he has, with the sheer amount of common sense he seems to lack. And it terrifies me to know that he could someday reproduce, or may have already. There could be yet another generation that has to put up with this man’s particular genetic strain of dumbassery. And yet so many poor dogs like this one, who have done nothing wrong, aren’t allowed to further their own bloodlines. Let’s put a stop to it- let’s spay and neuter our idiots.

This message hypothetically endorsed by Bob Barker.